Last Night’s Dream
I write an email in which “Johnny Depp” is autocorrected to “Johnny Drip” four times, and am embarrassed about it.
January 19, 2012
2 notes
December 29, 2011
5 notes
Last Night’s Dream
I bought an octopus.
November 18, 2011
34 notes
How Floridians start the day, happy Friday!(UF Archives Special Collections)
I actually had almost this exact dream a couple weeks ago. I think it was about my personal problems.
July 4, 2011
7 notes
Last Night’s Dream
Due to falling asleep while reading Game Of Thrones, I dream that, in the same way the Stark children have direwolf familiars, I have a giant panda. It loves my parents’ swimming pool.
January 5, 2011
3 notes
Last Night’s Dream
I go mountaineering with some Muppets and wind up buried alive in a collapsing snow tunnel.
January 1, 2011
2 notes
Last Night’s Dream
I attempt to sell Lea Michele on the glories of Ciara while riding a school bus. I then save Kanye West from an assassin’s bullet (he is very grateful), in the process getting shot myself, and am taken to medical assistance by the X-Men. Later, after I have seemingly forgotten about being shot, a seven-foot-tall drunk tries to pick a fight with me in a city square.
(Then I woke up, and dozed off again, and dreamt of seeing multiple old roommates as what seems to have been a moving castle took me through Greenpoint.)
October 14, 2010
2 notes
Last Night’s Dream
I’m in a house on a gigantic lake (it could’ve been the ocean, perhaps) somewhere in Canada, along with several other people I don’t know, and we all must do our best to stay silent and motionless to hide from a horde of zombies that only show up at night. After the first night, a gang of vampires shows up to protect us and help us escape, but we don’t know what they will demand in return. They might want to drink our blood, they might want to turn us into vampires. One of them might have been my godfather, and one of them might have been Eric from True Blood, but he didn’t take his clothes off so it’s hard to say.
August 8, 2010
3 notes
Last Night’s Dream
I meet Justin Bieber at a dinner party held on the grounds of some estate (not his). He is calm like a Buddha and puts up with all of our questions about being super-famous. Later, while demonstrating some dance moves, he spins around and turns into a little tornado like the Tasmanian Devil or a Street Fighter character.
January 30, 2010
6 notes
Last Night’s Dream
Frustrated by her obnoxious cell-phone conversation in a crowded movie theatre, I throw a large table at Julianne Moore’s character from 30 Rock, causing her to be hospitalized.
Last Night’s Dream
So this is a weird one. Andrew Ross Sorkin, business reporter for the New York Times, attends a party at my parents’ house in Florida. Afterwards, we discover that he apparently has a habit of writing down any witty aphorisms or interesting bits of info that anybody says around him. So suddenly, our hardwood living-room floors are covered in little scrawled Sharpie notes.
I don’t know why this was Andrew Ross Sorkin but my dream was very unequivocal about this fact.
January 1, 2010
1 note
Last Night’s Dream
Beyoncé and Jay-Z hang out with my friends and I in a bar like it’s no big thing and we hang out all the time. Jay-Z rather likes it when I mouth along to his songs on the jukebox.
Like a white stag, I am going to interpret a sighting of Beyoncé and Jay-Z to be a sign of good portent for this newborn year. Surely my crops will not fail now.
Last Night’s Dream CORRECTED
It was actually Udo Kier, guys. Sorry to confuse you. I always get those guys’ names mixed up.
So yes: a strangely erotic Udo Kier. I KNOW RIGHT
Last Night’s Dream
I commit industrial espionage against a strangely erotic Armand Assante, aboard a cruise ship.
September 21, 2009
1 note
Last Night’s Dream
During a lull in an R.E.M. show, Michael Stipe tells me about the utterly mediocre-sounding comics project he has set up at my company.
(Note to all: To the best of my knowledge, Michael Stipe does not have a comics project set up at my company; and if he did, we’d do our best to not make it mediocre.)
August 12, 2009
1 note
Last Night’s Dream
- My boss dies and leaves me taking care of his dog, who is adorable and comically oversized in the manner of Lockjaw.
- Some of my teeth fall out, and I don’t mind too much.
- I attend a twenty-minute preview of the next Christopher Nolan Batman movie, which turns out to be both a romantic comedy and filmed in IMAX with simulated gravity in the manner of a thrill-park centrifuge ride.
- While on a beach in California, my coworkers and I spot one of our more popular writers, and intend to go talk to him about story points, but then three space shuttles take off over our heads in a row, causing us to believe we’re about to be invaded by extraterrestrials. So we go bodysurfing instead.
